Attachment Birthing?

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So, if you are all in to sunshine, buttercups, and rainbows, today’s topic might not be for you – scroll on.

I want to start out by saying that I can be what I call a ‘floaty’ person, in that I love the ideal. I love situations where everyone is happy about the outcome and what occurred to get there. I’m not a fan of confrontation and would instead, usually take the stance of ‘to each their own’.

Boy, was I wrong. My birth went nothing like I envisioned, in any way, shape, or form. In the end however, we had a beautiful baby girl who had no ill effects along the way

To give a bit more background, I forced my hubby into taking Hypnobirthing classes with Snik Snik, who is now 2. I knew exactly what I wanted the birth experience to be like, but I had also been a labour and delivery nurse at one time, so I was well aware of what I had witnessed firsthand. Still, I wanted a calm, relaxed atmosphere and I felt like I had seen enough births to still feel like I could have this and use all those techniques that we learned at the six weeks of classes. Boy, was I wrong. My birth went nothing like I envisioned, in any way, shape, or form. In the end however, we had a beautiful baby girl who had no ill effects along the way.

khloe1Here’s where we get into what I don’t understand. There is a condition called placenta previa where the placenta can partially or completely block the cervix, making it impossible to undergo a natural birth. Today, I was part of a discussion of someone mourning the loss of her birth plan, which included a natural home water birth because she had just been diagnosed with previa. First of all, previa can now be detected early due to the ultrasounds that most pregnant women have and the placenta can actually move so that it no longer covers the cervix (the way I saw it described was to draw an X at the bottom of a deflated balloon and then blow the balloon up and you will see that the X moves away from the opening as the balloon inflates), so there was still time for the outcome to change.

when things don’t go according to their plan – how dare the inadvertent well-wisher invalidate the mother’s experience

In the big picture though, why complain/rant/post about how sad you feel that you can’t have your birth plan if it is something like this that is simply beyond anyone’s control? It sounds a bit like an entitled child, really, who has been told that he can’t have what he wants. What would have happened historically is that you would have had your home birth and hemorrhaged as no one would have known the placenta was in the way, possibly leading to your and your newborn’s death.

Keep in mind here, we aren’t talking about births were there were a million unnecessary interventions – we are talking about a concrete condition that was noted prior to the delivery. I have often heard people rant about people that say ‘at least you had a healthy baby’ when things don’t go according to their plan – how dare the inadvertent well-wisher invalidate the mother’s experience or her feelings? Seriously? In the end though, really – isn’t the most important thing that the mother and baby made it out unscathed?